I’m starting to get depressed again. I don’t know why. Nothing has happened. Except I’m acting differently than I used to. In the past when I was depressed, I used to desperately seek social situations because friends made me feel better. Now I feel like I’ve completely given up on “friends” and people in general. I realize I’m more likely to upset people by being with them when I’m depressed than anything so I just want to sit and be alone. I don’t want to do anything with anybody unless it’s specifically an activity I want to do. I don’t want to get out of bed or do anything. Mostly I just wish I wasn’t alive so I wouldn’t have to feel this. It’s shitty.
Going to a university today to talk about options for a master’s degree. Time to be an adult.
Long Island sucks. Doesn’t anyone here want to explore the wilderness or is it just me??